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I thought about the best attributes of my parents and what I wanted to pass on to my grandchildren.
As I reflect on those months waiting for my first grandson to be born, I recall my greatest focus was on the fact that my daughter was going to give birth. I think I was more concerned about how to be there for her then about how I would be part of our new grandson's life. I initially saw my role as a support person for my daughter and son-in law. My experience of becoming a parent for the first time, was fraught with exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy. I so much wanted my child to have an easier experience. So, I prepared by making myself completely available emotionally, physically and financially in any way the I could.For the second grandchild I was able to just be the Grandma that stayed with his big brother. My daughter and son-in law let me know when and how I was needed.
You/re a very wise grandmother. I had a lot of support when I had my first child--parents, older sister, Dr. Spock-- but, like you, I wanted very much to be the big helper when my daughter had her first child. Because I was working full-time and living in another city, I vowed to spend one weekend every month helping the new parents and being with my new grandson, and I pretty much kept that vow. Those weekends were so special to me, for they provided quality time for me with my grandson to bond and free time for my daughter and her husband to breathe, do errands, and be together. When my other grandchildren were born, the distance barrier wasn't in play, which made helping out and bonding a bit easier. As for waiting for my children and their spouses to let me know when and how they needed my help, I'm still working on learning that golden rule of grandparenting...and it's been 19 years!
Me too 👍
I was so elated when I got the news that my daughter in law was pregnant. Then when I found out she was having a girl I was over the top. I asked her first what was her plans for getting help after the baby came. She didn’t have any. Her mother workEd and wasn’t planing on taking any time off. They live near by so I decided to help in any way I could. She never came out and ask. After the baby came I went over every morning to give her a hand and time to do whatever she wanted. This created a very strong bond between my granddaughte and pThey now have another baby boy and I was there again to help. My husband and I have supported them and helped in anyway we can I would do it all over again.
Your daughter-in-law was lucky to have your help. And you’re lucky her mother worked! Everyone was happy. Do you still knit for your grandchildren. You should post a picture of some of the things you knitted for the babies.
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